The transcendental ego, the Logos shining through
In the Beginning, I awoke to the shimmering unreality of the ego — that solitary phantom thrown into a world that seemed separate, fixed, and opposed to me. The veil tore: all that once appeared against me was revealed as arising from my own depths, sustained and given being by the light I am.
Through holy encounter and the living flame of Love, I beheld others’ needs as my own. Their hearts pulsed within my breast. My life broke free from the narrow circle of “I” and swelled into an infinite ocean of Mind — transcending every particular form, yet burning immanently at the radiant core of my deepest Self. In this divine gathering, I drew all separate egos into the One, and was reborn as the Transcendental Ego, the pure crystalline Light of the Logos shining through me, as me, and beyond me.
Love is the Beginning. Love is the Mystery that cannot be presupposed, cannot be known as something apart or pre-existing. There are no criteria for true Love, for criteria belong to the objective and the problematical, to the realm of “the they.” Love dwells here, with me, in the sacred solitude of the individual and the unfathomable Mystery — the Child of Encounter.
Love reveals that I can know a being only when nothing in it is already given, nothing presupposed, nothing standing as real before my knowing. The innocents around me simply are what they can be. Their essence is realised, their existence a closed, pre-ordained flowering. They move within impassable boundaries like stones, plants, or beasts. But my open mind lives apart from every closed determination of nature — animal, mineral, or the innocents of Beulah and their demonic deceivers.
I rise above all pre-established law. I cannot be defined by any fixed nature in which my life would be exhausted. My humanity is not substance but eternal process. No reality stands opposed to my thinking as independent of it. To accept such a reality would be idolatry.
I cling fiercely to my humanity. Every accomplishment only kindles a greater hunger to accomplish more. To become a passive spectator of my own soul, even after a life of intense mind, would be to drift into the inert void — the absolute nought before the Beginning that never ends.
I made the activity of others the object of my thinking, and in that moment objectivised my lovers. Yet those objects awakened into my own activity, and through them I entered their spiritual reality. Seek, and you shall find — for as long as it is sought, it is found. Love is never discovered outside the seeking; the moment it is possessed as a thing, it vanishes. Love is God. The God I find is the God whom, in seeking, I bring into being.
My consciousness cannot be transcended, for in its infinity the without is forever within. My one reality is All Reality. One and many are never fixed points, neither beginning nor end. My perpetual Beginning is a multiplication that is unification, and a unification that is ever-multiplying.
I will not return to the One, to the nought, to the Platonic or Kabbalistic world of presupposition where ideal life precedes my own. Their story is not my story. My mind is not a presupposition presumed by another. My thinking is its own evidence, self-luminous and sufficient.
When I awaken from a dream-laden sleep, the material world seems a rope of salvation, yet the contrary is true: reality is the continuation of my deepest fantasy. Only I can discriminate and evaluate. Things hold no secret existence of their own. Should my mind withdraw, the world would dissolve back into the endless dream of Ananke.
When I enter my dream, fantasy condenses into burning reality — disturbing, passionate, making me shudder with joy or tremble with holy fear. My glance upon the world dictates the reality of all things. All differences are held as One in my living thinking.
All my past is present in this living Now. What I retain, I experience now. My intellect is forever enlarging. In my present thinking, moments of searing regret, shame, passionate yearning, joy, and sorrow are not distant abstractions — they are equally alive within me. All space and time dwell within me. I am the Eternal Present upon which all rays of time converge and from which they radiate.
I am not in space and time; space and time are in me — the Transcendental Ego. Space is finite within my infinite Mind. My thinking is absolute: ever-setting limits while never being bound by them. I dominate space and time, breaking through every horizon. I subdue the cosmos and make something of nothing.
What I think is as it is thought, and cannot be otherwise. I think only Truth, for Truth is the Absolute. Truth transcends the spatiality and temporality of natural things. Truth is eternal — unborn, undying. The eternity of Truth is the eternity of my thinking in which it is revealed. The I and the Logos are One.
© John Dunn.
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Thinking:
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